Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just invented taco cereal.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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