A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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