ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
