You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
