She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
