He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
