I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
