he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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