Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize