Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
