Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize