he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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