I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
