It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
