Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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