Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
