Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
