At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
