Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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