Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
