I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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