Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize