If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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