holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
