I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
