Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
