In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
