Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
