You really coming over, don't trick.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
