Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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