Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
