dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
