I just made out with a guy for $7.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
