I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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