shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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