i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
