i jhust puked up my retainher.
She's JV to your varsity
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
