I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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