i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
