hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
