You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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