She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
