I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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