I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
