But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
