Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
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