have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
