Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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