Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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