loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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