Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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