how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
