i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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