Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My ass is underappreciated
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
