she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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