Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
