Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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