He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
