careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Randomize
