We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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