this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
