did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
