I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My vagina is very pro this idea
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