is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
