I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
