Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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