Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
